Understanding Postpartum Rage
As a mental health clinic specializing in perinatal mental health, we’ve witnessed firsthand the wide spectrum of emotions that new parents can experience. While postpartum depression and anxiety are finally starting to get the recognition they deserve, there’s one emotion that still lingers in the shadows, rarely talked about and often misunderstood: postpartum rage.
Yes, rage. Not just irritability or frustration, but intense, overwhelming anger that can seem to erupt out of nowhere—often to the surprise and deep shame of the person experiencing it.
Let’s talk about it.
What Is Postpartum Rage?
Postpartum rage is not an official diagnosis, but it’s a very real and deeply distressing experience for many parents—especially mothers—after childbirth. It can manifest as:
Sudden outbursts of anger
Feelings of being constantly on edge
Irritation at the smallest things (a spilled cup, a crying baby, a partner’s comment)
Yelling or even throwing things
Persistent resentment or hostility toward loved ones
These reactions often feel out of character for the person experiencing them. Many clients come in saying things like, “I don’t recognize myself anymore,” or “I’m afraid of the way I react to my own child.”
Why Does It Happen?
There’s no single cause of postpartum rage, but several overlapping factors tend to be at play:
Hormonal Changes – After birth, the body goes through a dramatic shift in hormone levels. These fluctuations can seriously affect mood regulation.
Sleep Deprivation – Exhaustion alone can drastically lower your emotional tolerance and impulse control.
Mental Load and Burnout – New mothers often carry the invisible weight of feeding schedules, doctor appointments, household chores, and emotional caregiving. The pressure can build until it erupts.
Unmet Needs and Expectations – If your birth experience was traumatic, or if you’re lacking support, your brain may be in a heightened state of threat response. Anger is often a protective, primal response to that stress.
Underlying Mental Health Conditions – Postpartum rage often coexists with anxiety or depression. It's not uncommon for rage to be the mask that these conditions wear.
Why the Silence?
Unlike sadness or anxiety, which often elicit sympathy, anger—especially in mothers—is socially unacceptable. There’s a deeply ingrained cultural myth that motherhood is all joy, selflessness, and serenity. When a parent, particularly a mother, expresses anger, it can be seen as failure or even danger.
Because of this stigma, many people don’t seek help. Instead, they bury their feelings, adding layers of guilt and shame to their already heavy emotional load.
What You Can Do
If you or someone you love is experiencing postpartum rage, know this: You are not a bad parent. You are not broken. You are not alone.
Here are some steps that can help:
Speak to a Therapist – Talking with a professional who understands perinatal mental health can make all the difference. You deserve a safe space to unpack what you're feeling.
Check for Underlying Conditions – Postpartum anxiety and depression often go hand-in-hand with rage. Proper diagnosis and treatment can lead to real relief.
Prioritize Rest and Support – I know this is easier said than done, but even small amounts of help can go a long way. Consider enlisting friends, family, or a postpartum doula.
Practice Self-Compassion – Rage is not a reflection of your love for your child. It’s a sign that your body and mind are crying out for care.
Join a Support Group – Hearing other parents say, “Me too,” can be incredibly healing. You are not alone in this. The Healing Group offers free online support groups for moms!
Final Thoughts
Postpartum rage deserves a seat at the table in discussions about maternal mental health. The more we talk about it, the more we can dismantle the shame around it and create real pathways for healing.
If you’re struggling, please reach out. Therapy is not about fixing you—because you are not broken. It’s about helping you reconnect with yourself, find clarity amidst the chaos, and build the support you need to thrive in this new chapter.
You’re doing an incredibly hard thing. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Call or text 801-305-3171 to schedule and appointment with a perinatal mental health specialist at The Healing Group.
