The Art of Habit Change: How To Stop Bad Habits and Start Good Habits
By Anne Doubek, CMHC
Fall is around the corner. Kids are going back to school, we are heading towards the change of the seasons. The season where summer’s ease and growth sigh and become a quiet inward focus. This is the season of letting go. This can be a wonderful time to start new habits as there is often a “settling into routine” quality to the cooling weather and the shortening days.
Is there something you would like more of in your life?
Something that you have that you want less of?
Think about the root of either of these. When setting an intention, start by thinking about one small shift that this change would flow from. For example, if you are a smoker and you would like to quit, think about the essence of that change. It may be something like, “I enjoy healthy foods and snacks”. This would by definition, mean that cigarettes are out because they are not healthy. An incidental consequence may be that there are other pro-health benefits that you enjoy, like better quality food and snacks, more health and more energy.
When thinking about a new habit, think about where you are going, not what you are leaving behind. When you think about where you would like to be after a new habit change, think about how you feel when you embody this change. If this change had already taken place, what would you notice? Would you notice more spending money, a more refined sense of smell and taste, better breath and more time? What would that feel like? If you enjoy a meditation practice, this is an excellent time to reflect on the feeling state of these changes. If meditation is not your thing, a quiet walk, reflection over a beautiful sunset, or listening to a quiet piece of music, can invite this sense of introspective awareness.
Lastly, ask yourself what is one small thing you can do today that is in support of this change? It is okay to start small. Consistency is the key. Once you do something in support of a habit change, congratulate yourself for taking a step. Feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from taking an action on your behalf. Rather than think about how far you have to go, learn to find pleasure in the small step you took today.
Expect setbacks. These are a normal part of habit change. When you experience a setback, ask you self what the trigger or mindset was when you experienced the setback and ask yourself if there is a learning that you can benefit from. Then recommit to take a step the next day, and let it go. Don’t dwell on a setback and don’t think it means you have failed. When a baby learns to walk, or we learn a new sport or skill, we fall, we fail, we totally blow it. This is how we learn. Try to find some grace or amusement, and get back up again.
Habit change is a practice, not a one time event. Sometimes, when habits feel particularly difficult to change, there are underlying factors at play. We may develop unhealthy habits to cope with stress or past trauma. A therapist can be a partner in your recovering journey, gently supporting you along the path to greater wellness. If you’re interested in partnering with a skilled therapist, call or text The Healing Group at 801-305-3171.
